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In order to create, I destroyed myself; I have externalised so much of my inner life that even inside I now exist only externally. I am the living stage across which various actors pass acting out different plays.

– Fernando Pessoa, The book of disquiet


sickness

27Sep11

furtive glances
at what
at who
and run away

perhaps the distance
will heal the
cuts, the burns,
the months of waiting

when all i want
is some peace
some refrain
that isn’t criminal

coffee maybe
or a shared joke
instead of this pretending
that no sighs
or tears or blood
was ever shed


writing again

26Sep11

It is banal to say it: an amputee loses a limb in order that the entire organism may survive. A part is lost in order that the whole survive. But it must adapt. Navigating previously easy tasks becomes hard again. Sequencing must be re-learnt. Perhaps from this the writer’s seeming inability to live with as much ease, with as much seeming authenticity as others. Each sentence demands his life be re-imagined.


All sorts at GEX, found on Supervert.


Deer Tick

16Sep11

Let’s listen to a music

Wasn’t that nice?


What is most interesting about Mike Davies short article on 9/11 is not that he identifies “the attackers and the attacked” as in “collusion”- the idea of a collaborative antagonism is well established- but the way it concludes:

Enmired in wars with phantoms, Washington has been blindsided by every major trend of the last decade. It has completely misread the real yearnings of the Arab street and the significance of mainstream Islamic populism, ignored the emergence of Turkey and Brazil as independent powers, forgotten Africa, and lost much of its leverage with Germany as well as with Israel’s increasingly arrogant reactionaries. Most important, Washington has failed to develop any coherent policy framework for its relationship to the PRC, its main creditor and most important rival.

From a Chinese standpoint (assumedly the perspective of our future Gibbon), the United States is showing incipient symptoms of being a failed state. When Xinhua scolds the U.S. Congress for being “dangerously irresponsible” in debt negotiations, or when senior leaders openly worry about the stability of American political and economic institutions, the shoe is truly on the other foot. Especially when standing in the wings, bibles in hand, are the mad spawn of 9/11 — the Republican presidential candidates.

If America is beginning to look like a failed state then perhaps 9/11 really was a world-historical Event, a moment of rupture between one order and another. It was the fatal stab that began to deflate the Imperium. Animals are often at their most dangerous when wounded. Imagine how they behave when they are dying.

And a word of warning; no matter what else America represents it has long been the image of universality.It has also been the face of the overarching political reality of ‘capitalist realism’. If America can fail…if America is failing… the problem will no longer be that we cannot imagine alternatives to capitalism, it will be that we cannot imagine alternatives to collapse.

Collapse, failure, a moribund empire. These are what we will be left with. A dying world in which sanity seems impossible. Shortly after the attacks I was convinced that Americans had undergone a massive collective trauma, a psychic assault that the rest of us were more or less immune from. It’s a pretty banal claim. As such, the various responses could all be cast as ways of coping with that trauma. A post-traumatic population. A post-traumatic executive. The abused becoming the abuser. And hopes with Obama for something different; the new figure who promised redemption but continued on the same path…a more charismatic version of the same old lies. All the modes of coping having failed.

Really, this is what we can understand by America being accused of being a failing state. Not that it’s hegemony is really under threat, at least not in the immediate to medium term future. Not that it’s economic power won’t be shored up til the last. But that it is now starting to operate without a way of protecting itself. The survivor of abuse will sometimes lash out at others but may eventually, for a host of reasons, finally realise that it is himself that all his rage is really focussed on. Unable to cope, self-harm and suicidality flourish.


Unhappiness. Isolation. The banality of emotions.


Amputation
This dream shows that you have or will encounter some type of loss and that it is important to take action so you can prevent this. When we dream of losing one of our own limbs (arms or legs) this means that we are worried about losing something that is important to you, and you are concerned in case something does not work out in some way. This dream also indicates there is some thing that is bothering you. To have your arms amputated denotes that a relative or friend will cause you loss in the future.

Click here to learn more about dreams of arms.

The word “Amputation” is taken from the Latin term “amputare” this means “to cut out”. To dream an animal such as a dog or cat has had an amputation means that someone close to you will encounter some minor loss.

The message: life is too fast and you are trying to save even five minutes.

The message is to slow down. This dream also signifies that there is something that faces you that you have never encountered before. Loosing a body part is a sign that you need to take care of yourself and relationships in the future.

This dream can also mean that you are neglecting some part of your life. The dream generally means that if your leg was removed in a way that caused you suffering then something will be removed in your life. This dream has some positive aspects, if the amputation represents the removal of a hand, can also mean that something will be removed in your life which is no longer desired. To dream of someone with a false leg generally means that it is time to move forward with a business matter.

Amputation would normally happen in a hospital operating room, if this was the case in your dream then times are going to be rocky for a short period, but everything will work out in the end. If amputation is performed to stop the spreading of a disease such as gangrene as a complication of frostbite, injury, diabetes, hardening of the arteries or any other sickness that impairs blood circulation then it is time to stop what you are doing in connection with a loved one (talk to them) and think about how they feel.

To see an amputation being carried out in a war due to a loss of blood and infection in a person who has suffered severe untreatable damage to a limb denotes times of money and possible gambling.

If in your dream you are performing an amputation means that the area of your life which will change will be your own decision. If you dream of a fitted artificial limb, or prosthesis then a situation in your life is fake and deep down you know it.

To dream of an amputation due to an accident means you need to be careful. To dream of this being caused by an animal attack means someone is in the background speaking about you.

As mentioned before, amputation in the old times often occurred due to the battlefield, many books recount the story of Lord Uxbridge, a British cavalry officer who has his leg removed in the Battle of Waterloo.

To dream of self amputation is different from general amputation and you should seek the meaning by clicking here.