Andrew Lansley: Politician for Man and Child


Why look at his reassuring smile and strong, bold use of eyebrows (note also the dramatic ‘one eye slightly closed’ technique, conjuring up an air of confidence not seen since the demise of Futurism). Observe how we sits, situated between the great vastness of a blue sky, pregnant with the promise of untrammelled progress incited by an imaginative power bounded only by the mortals with which he must attempt to ‘communicate’ with, and the radiant brilliance of the Sun, that source of all life and symbol of potency. It is as if Lansley himself were an Apollonian Hero of reason entwined with an imagination that we fleshboxes, in that pitiable everyday beneath him, must come to rely upon and recognise as safely and smoothly guiding us, as if we were mere wisps of cloud on his gentle breeze.

All of this delivered by a man with the bravery, the resolution- nay the Authenticity!- to gently extol to us from underneath a sensible, business oriented grey side parting. No! This isn’t characteristic of a lack of flair! Nor of the flip floppery of others! His hair is parted. It is parted with certainty. Not a single maverick strand of hair could sully the direction and purpose of his parting. Let not the fact of its being parted to the left fool you, for he comes robed in a suit and tie that conjures in us a nostalgia of a particular British quality and returns a sense of things lost: this daring grey and pink combination is Man at C&A; it is Marks and Spencer (as opposed to all this M&S madness); it is a cup of hot Bovril taken from a thermos in a motorway layby, refusing the chicanery of service stations, while en route to a national strategy select committee.

Lansley is no fly-by night spouter of ruinous ideologies or empty jargoneering. His website lays out his unique position on health as bringing forth ‘the prospect of real and positive change for our NHS’. No illusory change here! No machinations of change! And let it be recorded that this change isn’t going to be detrimental to the NHS. We have his promise!


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