Thanatos

06Aug10

Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you

-Friedrich Nietzsche

it could be so easy
to finish it off
this disintegration
this demolition job
these thoughts now
won’t leave me
these temptations
echo in my head
i stare back at them
blankly but unable
to shut them all up
the distance i’ve covered
has made the journey obscure
the places i’ve been
all erosion
the succession of yous
and succession of mes
the ones who’ve loved
and hated
you who know so much
better and can announce
every truth to the world
i get so wraped up
in each line
the delusions that speak
are ungrateful
the delusions that speak
every line
these thoughts that
come with accusation
who know that i did this myself
and tell me again without question
it could be so easy
to complete this abandon
this disintegration
this demolition job
and i do not follow where
they want to lead me
and i do not care for their
seductions but
i am no architect
and i am no engineer
and the place they have
to settle
i cannot reach so that i
might dismantle
and i catch them
in cafes or out on the street
while reading the paper
or trying to sleep
riven to somewhere inside me
the bitterest kiss
sealed somewhere inside me
with the bitterest kiss
it would be so easy
but fuck the easy way
though it honeys my heart
so sweetly
this machine is not for breaking
this soul not to be extinguished
the darkness is shelter
i’ve known it before
and i’ve sent it back out
on its way
this mind is not for hijacking
no terror will dimish its strength
though i know that i am breaking
its only shedding of one
life before rebirth
i am the dying and rising
i am he who will gaze
into the abyss and in whose face
the abyss will shrink
oh you my monsters
do not stalk this heart
i am not your prey
you are trapped inside of me
i am your cage
so come my monsters come

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